Santa Claus Is Freaking Me Out

Don't tell me not to cry and not to pout
Santa Claus is freaking me out
I have a million questions spinning round my head
Until I get some answers I refuse to go to bed

Like how can a fat man fit down my chimney?
Carrying all those presents for you and for me
Ever wonder how he lands his sleigh on your roof?
Don't you think you'd wake up to the sound of all those hooves?

Don't tell me not to cry and not to pout
Santa Claus is freaking me out
I have a million questions spinning round my head
Since he lives at the North Pole, I'm asking you instead

Tell me how he does it all in just one night
Nine reindeer and just one sleigh does not sound right
Maybe Santa travels in a UFO?
Fast as light and painted white to blend in with the snow

Don't tell me not to cry and not to pout
Santa Claus is freaking me out
I have a Christmas wishlist he's never even seen
But somehow half the stuff ends up beneath my Christmas tree

It's all so overwhelming for my milk and cookie brain
If only you could understand my grief and all my pain
So save me please from Santa's snare
before I go insane

Don't tell me not to cry and not to pout
Santa Claus is freaking me out
9,000 people living in my neighborhood alone
That's not including cats and dogs
who at least get a bone

Don't tell me not to cry and not to pout
Santa Claus is freaking me out
I have a million questions spinning round my head
Until I get some answers I refuse to go to bed

Copyright 2005 Kenneth Littleton Jones